Remembering….what’s behind every essence of remembering; what’s there in a crumpled leaf of souvenirs and memories while reminiscing every eventual moments, from the special ones to the little ones, the wonderful moments of togetherness, the sound of the heart throbbing for closeness, sharing each dreams, big and small, the easy ones and even the impossible….
The Impossible….how could there be, when the love that beholds us vowed to surpass even death. is our love not enough to make impossible a meaningless word in our conquest of life together….
Together….but where are you when i walked the storm. why can’t i find your hand in the heavy blowing of the cruel wind, in the cold night of despair. have you gone into some other hands, into some other shelter and left me alone to walk in the rain….
Rain….how many times have we walked through the rain together. how many times have we guaffed our thirst of longing by holding closer under the rhythmic falling of the rain. “to every life some rain must fall..” how true, rain has been an eventual wisher in our every meeting; a reminder in forgetting. it has been an inspiration of my every letter, as it brings your name into my ears i could write a thousand notes. but there is one kind of rain that crushed my heart whenever i saw it behold you when you’re that close to me. the rain that goes with you before you sleep, bearing the unbearable. if i could only choose the kind of rain that will fall into our life, we shall have no bitter drops of rain. even then, there is no rain which i don’t remember you….
You….what i mean of everything is what i mean of you. there is no happy moment in my life which i don’t think of you, there is no alive memory in my mind which i don’t remember you. you’re what brings me to sleep, fills my dreams and the reason of my waking every morning. you inspired my ambitions, encourages my will, enliven my endeavors, cherishes my hopes. if there will be a thousand woman in my life, i want them all to be a replica of you. for it is you who made my life livelier, meaningful. it is you who captured the whole of me. it is you i love….
Love….is what brings us together, it’s what makes us near while apart and much closer while near. it is the difference of my holding your hands and by somebody else. it is the warm feeling that my arms bring over your shoulder. it is the sparkle i see in your eyes, the joy in your honest laughter, it is the loneliness while missing, the joy in every meeting. it is what grows in our hearts as day passes and becomes yesterdays. it is what fills our tomorrow.
Tomorrow….will it always be the same. how many times have you shown me that tomorrows can never be the same, that what is new today can change. yes, nobody can foretell what tomorrow shall be, but is it enough to deny a love that is burning yesterday, and still is ardent today. is it fair to deprive what love is today in making its own tomorrow. who are we to say that today has ended, that this love is not enough when we could still feel the heat of its flame that used to warm our heart yesterday, the other yesterdays and the other more. can we stop tomorrow. tomorrow has its ways, as long as you feel that warmness in your heart. if thinking of the coming tomorrow gives you pain and troubles your mind, then remember how a thousand tomorrows have passed and we’re not part of your yesterday….
Yesterday….if there is one thing which we owe everything, it is yesterday. it is where we made the history of our love from the very beginning. it is where we sang our song, dreamed our future. planned our tomorrow, shared our idiosyncrasies, pampered our whims. it is where we curved our story beyond forgetting. it is where we have our memories to remember…..
Remembering….what’s behind every essence of remembering…..
(written by my husband Willy in the ‘70’s)
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